8/16/2023 0 Comments PresenceThe body holds memories. The body holds spirits. The Earth body. The human body. My body. Your body. Can we be present with and appreciate the stories we’ve held? There is darkness and pain, there is light and beauty, there is pleasure that we have not been allowing ourselves to feel. When I sit with how I am to serve the world today, I first noticed what seemed to be tension. Instead of labeling it as such and trying to fix, figure out, or change it, I simply sat with it. Presence. I followed the sensation - listening, allowing. Unfolding. Welcoming. It opened into pleasure. Instead of something I wanted to hide, I realized it wanted to be seen. Our bodies are holy. Our pleasure is holy. Sacred. Alive. Welcoming of all. Brilliant. Worthy of honoring, respect. Connected to the Divine. Worthy of life. My connection to Holy and Divine is a journey. My connection to pleasure is a journey. It is still unfolding, clarifying. I have held the weight of my lineage, at least partially connected to the Catholic church, which feels clouded with judgements of right and wrong. When I talk about holy and divine now, I long to find definitions that connect me to you in understanding and clarity, in a way we can relate to each other. I have judgements of the Catholic church and wish to separate my experiences of holy and divine from religious contexts that have felt stifling. I have a desire to welcome my pleasure fully, making space for it, because it is true aliveness and beauty. I have a desire to be fully present with my experience, not looking for outside validation for my safety or worthiness, but to know my worthiness inherently. To know that I am holy and divine. To feel that in my body. As I sit with that in my body, pleasure opens up where pain and tension has been held. I open to being seen more fully. I open to moving my body in ways it has felt stuck. The journey continues. There is still pain and tension as I write, but there is also more pleasure, hope, and capacity to be with. I do body work. To connect you to your body. You to me. You to God. You to your pleasure. To your life force. To your joy. To others around you. To Earth. To Love. To Wholeness. ~ This post was inspired by a song that was stuck in my head: "You and I drink this water, You and I breathe this air, You and I walk this holy ground, You and I live here." Song by Laurence Cole, based on the words by Winona LaDuke, taught to me by song leader Yuri. As songs get stuck in my head these days, I listen, inquire, and follow the threads. They have messages to tell. What messages are you listening to?
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Aliveness. Connection. Beauty. Truth. What I live for. What I heal for. What I dance for. Growing up, I numbed out. A little context of my childhood: My parents fought, had a miscarriage when I was young that was emotionally traumatizing, moved a lot, and divorced when I was 8. At the time, I thought I was ok. It wasn't until I started crying in my early 30's when simply learning about the nervous system freeze response that I realized I had not been ok. My truth was hiding. In the Reichian character structures, I'm a schizoid, which is one who withdraws and fragments under stress, as I learned in Shamanic De-armoring. Now whenever there is stress at home, mainly conflict between housemates, I want to move. Realizing this is a pattern of mine, and recognizing it's relevance to the schizoid type, has me want to find the harmony, grounding, safety, resource, and clarity within me. It has me want to commit to staying where I am at least for a set length of time. It has me want to create harmony in all the ways I know how to do: create beauty in and around the house, commune with the land I live on, build trust, friendship and coherence with housemates, lean in to edges of discomfort lovingly and spaciously, and facilitate offerings that help build community in my home and beyond, and that help grow my capacity to be with more of life, so that I can ground and truly enjoy all that life has to offer me. So I don't have to bail when conflict arises, but I can sway like the trees and adjust as needed, continuing to grow. Does any of this resonate with you? Would you like support? Click here to book a consultation call or session. |
AuthorI'm Erin Casey, and I touch people. With my hands, with my presence, with contact - physical and energetic. With my art, with my awareness, kindness, ferocity, grace, humor, humility, humanness. I create Source-guided art: intuitive, abstract, bringing the unseen to light. I follow the energy, follow what feels right. Sometimes it's messy and awkward, but often it's beautiful and moving. Archives
August 2023
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